A Week of Gratitude - Day 7

Final day of the week of listing three things I am grateful for.  For many people these kinds of lists and gratitude journals (if the lists become habit-forming and a daily reminder to find the good and the awesome in everything around us) are eye-opening in their ability to alter ones focus on the positive and good around them everyday. In many corners, society has become a bitch session and we can get caught up in the drama and negativity being shared instead of letting it pass on by and not taking any ownership or burden of it personally.

We all know people who seem to be perpetually stuck under a dark rain cloud, nothing is ever good enough, or always going wrong, and they never seem to have an end to all the things they can complain about or reasons why their lives are just so difficult.

I can't be bothered with them anymore.

Sure we all have days when things just don't seem to be going in our favour, and yes, we all bitch about things from time to time - but there comes a point when you have to look in the mirror and suck it up and accept that it's your life, and you are the only one who is going to live it.  I can find enough negative energy in my own life if I look deep enough, I don't need anyone else's weighing me down.

And neither do you.  So I hope if you have done a list like this or are thinking about doing one, that you make the shift to seeing the bright side - because there always is one - and looking at things from various perspectives until you see that every situation and circumstance holds the seeds of happiness and contentment.

So today I want to give my thanks for

1. The various Job Experiences and Clients I have had the pleasure to work with over the years.

Each one has taught me something - not every one left me with a warm fuzzy happy feeling at the end of the project - and that's okay, I was still able to take something positive away from those experiences to change or concentrate on differently the next time, helping me change and grow and become more proficient and efficient in the process.

I have gained skills and perspectives from all the trades and clients I have worked with and alongside, understanding how and why they do what they do and to what end, and it has given me a much better understanding of what people want and why and how best to serve others while still enjoying the work being done.  That wasn't an overnight lesson, nor was it always easy to implement, but it is something I am trying to teach Riley (and others) though I know he will need to find  his own way to that realization in his own time, but if I can help him get there even just a little bit sooner than he would have on his own it will be a success.


2. I am grateful for the friendships I have.

Life is not a solitary journey, and it gets much easier when we share the load and let others help us when we need it - and even when we don't think we do - and we are all better off when we share our experiences and magnify them collectively.  Friends are your support, your reinforcements, your foundation - they will be there when you need them, and they will lift you up and carry you to greater heights, but you need to be a friend too - though we all know people who seem to be selflessly giving of them selves to all who ask - if we look closer we will find that they also have a need to be supported and looked after from time to time themselves, and we owe it to ourselves as well to be there when called upon.

I have an awesome group of friends - near and far - some I have never met face to face - but that doesn't lessen the impact and importance they play in my life - and I would not not be where I am today without their support, feedback, persistence and kicks in the ass when needed!  My life is richer for the diversity and depth of the friends I keep, and I believe they are a reflection of me, mirroring the traits and beliefs and characteristics that make me who I am.  I only hope I am fulfilling my end of the bargain as well.


and lastly, I am grateful for

3. Today.

Right here, right now.  It's all I will ever have, all I will ever need.  Knowing that and accepting that is paramount to living in the present and doing what needs to be done now, for the benefit of later, letting the past be what it was, learning from it and choosing wisely moving forward into the next now.  Where I go from here is up to me, but it all starts right now, right here, with what I choose to think about, focus on and believe about my reality.  To have that kind of power at my disposal constantly is humbling and exciting at the same time.

So whether it's cold and grey or hot and sunny - it's all good.

I'm just fine in my own skin.  I don't need to be anybody else, and if it all ends today, I'd be more than fine with that too.

A Week of Gratitude - Day 6

Jumping right into the list today:

1. Nature.

I'm fortunate to live in a smaller sized, green city, situated at the junction of two rivers.  From the air it appears to be a mass of parkland, the neighbourhoods and streets lost in swaths of lush, green foliage (unless it's winter - then that green turns brown, turns white!). And we do have a large percentage of our city land set aside as park and recreation areas which further increases the perception of living in a prairie forest.

The benefits are numerous.  Aside from the outdoor activities supported within such an urban oasis, the abundance of birds and wildlife that share our city eases the harsh edges of cold concrete and softens the inevitable noise created from its inhabitants.  On a personal level, our back yard is bounded on three sides by other lots, and buffeted around its edges by walls of trees - creating a private green space worlds away from the hustle and energy of the streets.

Nature provides a refuge for our souls, a location where we can reconnect to the natural rhythms and cycles we've lost as we've become city dwellers. For me it's critical to have that space and place to regroup and recenter, and I am grateful I do not have to venture further than my back door to arrive there.



2. Architecture.

As much as I need nature to feel human, I also have a need to be close to or have direct access to well designed structures and buildings.  Humans interact with their surroundings and are influenced by their spaces.  Good design promotes harmony and sustains the human relationship with the space.  Poor design inhibits it.  A well designed building might be compared to a work of art, form and function blended seamlessly with intelligent choice of materials and texture.  A poorly designed building? Not so much.  

Winnipeg is home to the largest collections of turn of the 20th century commercial architecture outside of Chicago and was known for years as the Chicago of the North. A walking tour of the district today is a step back in time, but it is a refreshing trip that allows you to immerse yourself in the intricate details and craftsmanship of the period, something missing in many of today's new building projects. The history and artistry of the craft has given way to speed and economy.  Cheap and fast to maximize profits...

But it's not just old, well designed buildings that I am thankful for, I appreciate cutting edge designs and integration with surrounding landscapes as much or more so.  We are blessed with an abundance of land up here, yet we still design and build as if we are restricted by space, and most designs look out of place in size and scale.  When you come across a building that fits into and complements it's environment, you know it even without realizing why it speaks to you... 



3. Travel.

I am grateful to be in the time and place I am these days, to have the ability to travel at will (finances allowing!) and to experience different places, cultures and lifestyles.  Travel is freedom.  It is adventure and expanding your horizons and broadening your understanding of how people work and live in places different than where you are from.  It is history and geography and sightseeing and a way to make this planet just a little bit smaller through hands-on experience.   Travel allows me to deepen my understanding of the differences and diversity that exist all around us, giving a context to the subtleties and nuances between us that can be fundamental in how we see and perceive each other.

Travel is a choice, and a lifestyle in a sense, and it forces one to prioritize other areas in order to allow the time and expense of visiting new places, or familiar ones repeatedly... :D. And it will never get old!

A Week of Gratitude - Day 5

It's Sunday, and day 5 of listing three things I am grateful for.  I'm fighting a migraine which is fitting given yesterday's list, and I'm not in the best of writing head spaces, but I do have three things I want to list today.

1. The Arts.

Collectively, singularly, however you want to break them down or define them, whatever you want to include or whatever you feel might better be labelled something else, I am thankful that as a society we support the expression of each others creativity.  Theatre, dance, orchestras, artists, live performances of all manner - anything that expresses human emotion and experience, whether for entertainment or for engagement - I don't want to imagine a world void of such colour, context and commentary.

Through expression and interpretation we discover and relate to the world around us.  We shape our understandings through our experiences, our realities skewed by our perceptions.  Exposure to another's reality pushes our boundaries and forces us to reconsider our beliefs and our understandings.  We can be transported from the mundane routine of normalcy by a performance, or we can find deeper, fuller meaning in the stillness and quiet as we contemplate works of art.  Whatever we find or feel, our lives are enriched and transformed, even if only in passing.

And from here it isn't a stretch to get to my next item,


2. Diversity

I'm talking broad strokes in all it's forms here.  It's our differences that make us human.  We are each unique and bring different talents and ideas and experiences to everything we do, with everyone we interact.  How boring and useless would life be if we were all identical beings, exact copies of each other, integrated, united, homogeneity? No unique thought?  No individual preferences? No variations in style, appearance, taste or function?

Bah!  No. Never!

I may not agree with your point of view, but I am grateful you have one and that it differs from mine!
Same goes for your history, your ethnicity, your customs and your future.  The multitude of variations and subtle differences among us and between us is what makes life worth living, worth embracing, worth exploring.  They are the reason we have language and communication, so that we may interact with each other with greater understanding, for cooperation and mutual benefit.

Our differences make us stronger.

And that leads me to my third item today,


3. Unspoken Understanding and Acceptance.

We see this usually in close relationships between people or small groups - the shared understanding and agreement that needs no words.  A glance and a nod are all that is needed and both parties instinctively know and understand and agree together on the topic or issue at hand.  Couples develop this trait, so do parents and children.  You know that look mom would shoot you when she wanted you to stop whatever it was you were doing or else - and you understood what it meant.  Your survival depended on it!

But we can develop this type of understanding and acceptance on a larger scale too, in groups with shared beliefs and common goals.  And when this happens we can elevate the consciousness and connectedness of the group and can accomplish great things with less effort.  But it requires carefully attuned focus and concentration and a willingness to share with each other - in short in needs a level of trust in each other that provides safety and security for each other.  And it doesn't exist well where fear is present.

And I think that's why when I experience situations where real communication is no longer necessary to provide understanding, it just feels 'right.'  It's a connection in the truest sense of the word, effortless and natural, and I believe it is what most of us are seeking.

A Week of Gratitude - Day 4

Day 4 and I want to talk about a few things that make me who I am and for which I am most thankful. Though they aren't always easy to deal with and accept at times these three things help keep me centred.

1. The skills and talents I possess and the ones I have yet to discover.

Seems pretty easy to be thankful for the talents you have and the skills you have developed but I think many of us choose only a few traits that we are known for or we think define us in the eyes of others and see those as the ones to be thankful for.  I know I've been fortunate to have the talents I do though I may not make the fullest and most complete use of them at times.  I partly blame that abundance for my lack of clear direction in life - the Jack of All Trades mentality of being able to do a lot of things really well leads one, at times, to be stuck trying to focus on what to pursue and how to best serve.

I grew up watching my dad tackle almost anything he set his mind too, and it became a natural extension of who I am.  Couple that with that curiosity I spoke of earlier and soon you find yourself trying things to see how they are done and you realize that anything IS possible.  If someone can do it - YOU can do it too!  Observe, learn, ask, try, do.  Repeat.

At least that's how my brain works.

But I understand that not everyone seems able to do anything they try.  I know my wife can't draw a cow off the top of her head to save her life.  She doesn't 'see' the world in the way that leads to a natural ability to draw what she sees.  I've always been able to draw and express myself with words, and create and see the end result of plans or concepts in my mind... and I don't like feeling like I've somehow received an inordinate amount of gifts or talents because I think everyone can develop them, but maybe that's not the case, and if it isn't, then I need to mindful of that and celebrate what I can do and how I do it.


2. Migraines and a losing half a finger.

This one is going to sound odd, but I'm thankful for two physical traits/circumstances that many would probably list as things they'd like to change.  Migraines can be a bitch.  No surprise there.  They can be an outright pain, literally, that cause suffers to shut down and put life on hold until they subside.  We've tried a variety of meds and therapies and tests to try and understand what causes them for me and how they manifest and how to lessen their effects - but so far not much helps.  And that's okay.  They have taught me more about myself in the process, and I have learned how to function through the majority of them - not always successfully, and on the way by have learned how I affect those closest to me during the worst episodes - and I love the auras that sometimes occur beforehand - the sensory warning signs - tastes, sounds, kaleidoscope of brilliant moving lights etc that tell me I'm about to be hit with the headache phase...  I've found an expanse of insight through these migraines that I wouldn't have had the opportunity to experience otherwise, and I am grateful for that.



Same goes for losing that half of my middle right finger.  It was a great learning experience and an amazing sensory journey as my body and brain adjusted after the surgery and re-learned to equate time and space with the new end of the finger.  Sure I can't grasp and hold things as securely or with as much strength with that hand as I did before the accident, but that's just life, things change and you adapt.  I like that it is a constant reminder of how quickly life can change, and how life gives you what you need, not what you want.

High Four and a Half!



3. The results of my genetic test results last month.

This one is a no brainer.  And I've talked about it previously, but it certainly is something I am grateful for, given how easily the results could have been the opposite.  Facing a 50/50 chance of having the mutated gene sequence that has been shown to cause ALS in a cohort of familial ALS (with or without accompanying Dementia and/or Parkinson's) I had no reservations about getting tested and knowing what may lie ahead for me and for my family.  I wanted to know.  So I got tested.

50/50.  Flip a coin.  Heads you win, Tails you will at some point in your future become afflicted with a combination of symptoms that will alter your life and will directly lead to your demise.  Not a pretty picture.  No cure, no known treatments yet, no understanding of how or when or in what order you'll begin to notice the changes...

But I got lucky.  If you believe in luck.   Or it was never my fate to discover that path on my journey, if you ascribe to the fate idea.  However you see it, I didn't get that genetic quirk that is in my family, and I did not pass it along to Riley.  Grateful? You bet.  But cautiously so, because I know that is it very likely that not all my siblings will have the same outcome.  This one is a mixed bag, but in my personal list of things to be grateful for, it most certainly is there.

A Week of Gratitude - Day 3

Yesterday I looked a bit inward for the three things I am grateful for, today I'm going to move outward a little and look at the three largest influences and closest things / beings to me and around me most days.

1. Karen.

As much as I wouldn't be who or where I am today without the previous influences and attributes I've discussed, I most certainly wouldn't be me without the support, love, guidance, and friendship of my partner in crime.  In a relationship that has evolved over time as we have grown and changed with life and it's ups and downs, we have carved out a unique partnership that fuels our individual growth and mutual, shared experiences.  It is a give and take that allows me to follow my nature and express myself through many forms - art, writing, design, photography, construction, travel... (everyday it seems that list gets longer) and through it all she is my baseline, my constant, my balance when things get too far from center, my devil's advocate when I need a second opinion, and my kind-hearted reason to keep growing and being a better me.

My dreamer and empathetic animal lover who trusts and believes in the best of everyone, who's heart is always close to the surface, who's emotions run deep and who's love of nature and home and the comforts they bring surrounds me with a warmth and balance and a inner peace like no other.



And thanks to her I am going to include

2. Riley.

He's a source of pride, of frustration, of admiration, of friendship.  He can push my buttons and test my will and my resolve - and then turn around and absolutely stun me with his insight, intuition, knowledge and depth.  He's funny and smart and anxious and awkward.  Demanding, compassionate, aloof and unafraid, fearful and courageous and brave and true.

He has taught me to look at things with a unique perspective and offers another dimension to my time here.  It's been an absolute blast watching him become who he will be - not always easy or fun - but that's the deal.  That entire mixed bag tests me and reinforces me daily and gives me exactly what I need.  And knowing he's always absorbing my habits and influences and my attitudes and perspectives keeps me trying to be my best, for his sake and for mine.



Lastly today I am grateful for

3. The home the three of us have created.

It may not resemble the house we purchased 19 years ago anymore - and I am directly to blame for all of that - but it has allowed the three of us to become a family, to create memories and a bond that strengthens and empowers each of us and all of us together.  It's location and neighbourhood have provided friends and a caring, loving environment to raise a family.  It's yard has provided an oasis and sanctuary where we can retreat and renew or entertain and celebrate and share the experience of life with friends and family.  It is a blank canvas for me to adapt and renew, creating a more harmonious environment with who we are and how we use its spaces.  It is shelter from the extremes of our climate, and a fortress from the outside world where we can escape and decompress. It is an extension of its occupants providing distances between when needed and a sharing of our time and expressions when called for.

It isn't just an address or building or piece of land, it is home.  And it's where my heart is.

A Week of Gratitude - Day 2

For today's list of things I am grateful for, I want to turn inward and look at 3 important things that we all share but don't usually consider much until we are having problems.

Firstly, I am grateful for:

1. My sense of curiosity.  

My overwhelming drive daily is to seek understanding in whatever form it takes, regardless of what activity I find myself engaged in.  Curiosity comes with a desire to solve problems and get to the heart of how things really are, how they work, why they aren't like something else, and why things matter and/or have value.  Related to investigation, exploration and learning it is that basic drive to 'know.'  Without it I wouldn't be who I am, I wouldn't ask the questions I do, wouldn't do the work I do and I wouldn't observe the world around me in the same way that I always have. I wouldn't be drawn to learning new things or examining old ways and practices - and I think this is closely related to imagination and creativity. In reality, I think my sense of curiosity is connected to everything I do.

I didn't choose to be this way so I know nothing else, and find it hard to contemplate a being without such a drive - this might explain my constant search for peace of mind!

I'll have to look into that... :D


Secondly, I am grateful for:

2. The range of emotions I get to experience and feel.  

Now I realize that for most of us emotions are an after-thought, a reaction to events and circumstances happening to us and we take them for granted.  Everyone has them, everyone feels them, and everyone has unique ways of dealing with them and expressing them.

For me I have come to see emotions as a gift, a signal or call to act or think or behave in a certain way depending on the situation.  Beyond the basic pain/pleasure spectrum most of our emotions are a choice, though we don't usually think of them that way, but once we learn to see them in that light, they can be used to serve us rather than us serving them.  This is key if we want to feel like we have control over how we feel vs blaming everything around us for affecting our mood and our attitude.  Choosing how to interpret the meaning of your emotions is key.  Choosing to focus on the positives in a situation vs the negatives is as well.

The range of emotions we can feel is pretty vast, and the subtle nuances between some of them can really indicate what is driving us at any particular point in time. They are a feedback of how I am interacting with the world and constantly provide a source of information for me to process and decide whether to act on the information or stay the course.  But in order to have control over the emotional feedback you have to be paying attention to the signals or focussing on them at some level to be aware that you are receiving them.  Then you have to know that you have a choice how to react, and trust that you can choose.  But it isn't easy.  Too much focus (or stubbornness) on getting something done, or being tired or run down, too many demands on my time and attention can quickly sink me back into reactionary mode vs choosing how to feel about something.  It's a lesson I constantly keep reminding myself to practice.  But I am grateful that I have that opportunity.


And this leads directly into my third item to choose to be grateful for today:

3. My 5 basic senses.

In order to feel anything, we have to be aware of something.  Pretty basic stuff, but also pretty deep if you stop and think about that simple statement, because at the heart of feeling anything at all, is an understanding that it is directly related to whatever it is you are being aware of; whatever it is you are focussing on.  So it follows that if you change your focus you will change what and how you are feeling.  Unless we're talking headaches and reactive type pain - but even then, I'm convinced that if you can shift your focus enough you can negate or distract yourself from some of that 'pain' feedback.

Or drink more rum.  Whichever.

But seriously - feeling boils down to being aware of something, and that is where the 5 basic senses come in.  Yes I know science has identified a boat-load of more basic senses, but I am talking strictly the Big 5. Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, and Touch.  These are the immediate ways we take in information around us and all 5 are sending feedback to us constantly, allowing us to choose our focus and react accordingly.

If you've ever lost one of your 5 basic senses for any length of time, you know how important that sense is.  Like when you're sick and stuffed up and can't smell things properly, or if you've always had to wear glasses and decided to have corrective surgery - suddenly the world is a different place!  Colors, sounds, tastes, textures.  The world would be a very dull, lifeless place without being able to sense these differences and qualities.  Eating would be a chore if everything tasted the same.  Music would be pointless.  Communication impossible.

Not everyone has all 5.  And that's not fair. And more to the point that's why I am grateful for my 5 main senses and everything they allow me to experience and discover constantly.


Tomorrow I think I'll look outward a bit for my next 3 choices.

A week of Gratitude - Day 1

To begin this week long exercise of listing three things each day for which I am grateful, I want to start back where it all began for me, and that is with

1. The Family I was born into

Whether I chose the time and place or whether it was the miracle of circumstance mixed with fate, the end result was the same, and for that I am most grateful.  Growing up in a family that didn’t know divorce or violence or any number of the afflictions that allow Jerry Springer to have a television career is something I took for granted, but now see as a great cornerstone for my life so far.  Learning to exist within a family and how to compromise and deal with shared experiences and limited time and resources shaped me into who I am becoming.  I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for the people most closest to me and most influential in my early development.  It would be easy then to list off my parents and my siblings as other things I am grateful for, but I’m going to leave them lumped here together and move on.

As much as Family had an important role in helping form the earliest of my character, I next want to focus my gratitude on

2. All the Teachers I have met so far along my journey

I’m lumping a lot of people into one small category and it would probably be most productive for me to delve deeper into this list later but for now I want to acknowledge all those who I have had the pleasure of coming into contact with who have given me something of themselves and their knowledge and abilities to help me grow and learn.  I was fortunate to have a motley crew of early teachers in school – the good, the bad and the ugly – this allowed me to figure out how to learn when the teacher and I didn’t always connect,  and gave me a greater appreciation for those that were natural at reaching kids and imparting their love of knowledge.  But teachers aren’t only found in schools or colleges or Universities and some of my best teachers have been complete strangers who have provided me with opportunities to grow as a person through the mundane and regular activities of everyday life.  The cashier at the grocery store having a rough day and not really being present during our transaction; the receptionist at the doctor’s office who’s grace under pressure never ceases to amaze me; the patient father at the rink with 3 young kids in tow watching their oldest brother play who somehow keeps everything in balance and in perspective…

To all of you I owe at least my heartfelt thanks.

And lastly this morning I want to state how grateful I am for

3. the Freedom we possess in this society

To be able to do something as simple as create this list is something we take for granted and hold it to be self-evident but we know this isn’t the case for a great majority of those that share this planet.  It is one of the greatest gifts we have given each other.  To be free to move without restriction, to think about whatever and however we chose, to experience the world around us as easily as we do is truly remarkable once we step back and realize how many people can not – for a variety of reasons and circumstances.  It should be available to all, but we know it isn’t, and we know it doesn’t come without a cost, and for this I am truly thankful. Freedom to choose, to disagree, to help, to hurt, to ignore, to become involved, to learn, to grow, to give, to love…

The genesis of this list of gratitude is really predicated on the enormous number of freedoms we have, and I am certain I could write pages in support of this aspect of my life, but I want to keep this daily list manageable – both in terms of you being able to read it and comment on it, and also for me to be able to write it!

I’ll ponder more about these three today and see where it takes me.