A Week of Gratitude - Day 4

Day 4 and I want to talk about a few things that make me who I am and for which I am most thankful. Though they aren't always easy to deal with and accept at times these three things help keep me centred.

1. The skills and talents I possess and the ones I have yet to discover.

Seems pretty easy to be thankful for the talents you have and the skills you have developed but I think many of us choose only a few traits that we are known for or we think define us in the eyes of others and see those as the ones to be thankful for.  I know I've been fortunate to have the talents I do though I may not make the fullest and most complete use of them at times.  I partly blame that abundance for my lack of clear direction in life - the Jack of All Trades mentality of being able to do a lot of things really well leads one, at times, to be stuck trying to focus on what to pursue and how to best serve.

I grew up watching my dad tackle almost anything he set his mind too, and it became a natural extension of who I am.  Couple that with that curiosity I spoke of earlier and soon you find yourself trying things to see how they are done and you realize that anything IS possible.  If someone can do it - YOU can do it too!  Observe, learn, ask, try, do.  Repeat.

At least that's how my brain works.

But I understand that not everyone seems able to do anything they try.  I know my wife can't draw a cow off the top of her head to save her life.  She doesn't 'see' the world in the way that leads to a natural ability to draw what she sees.  I've always been able to draw and express myself with words, and create and see the end result of plans or concepts in my mind... and I don't like feeling like I've somehow received an inordinate amount of gifts or talents because I think everyone can develop them, but maybe that's not the case, and if it isn't, then I need to mindful of that and celebrate what I can do and how I do it.


2. Migraines and a losing half a finger.

This one is going to sound odd, but I'm thankful for two physical traits/circumstances that many would probably list as things they'd like to change.  Migraines can be a bitch.  No surprise there.  They can be an outright pain, literally, that cause suffers to shut down and put life on hold until they subside.  We've tried a variety of meds and therapies and tests to try and understand what causes them for me and how they manifest and how to lessen their effects - but so far not much helps.  And that's okay.  They have taught me more about myself in the process, and I have learned how to function through the majority of them - not always successfully, and on the way by have learned how I affect those closest to me during the worst episodes - and I love the auras that sometimes occur beforehand - the sensory warning signs - tastes, sounds, kaleidoscope of brilliant moving lights etc that tell me I'm about to be hit with the headache phase...  I've found an expanse of insight through these migraines that I wouldn't have had the opportunity to experience otherwise, and I am grateful for that.



Same goes for losing that half of my middle right finger.  It was a great learning experience and an amazing sensory journey as my body and brain adjusted after the surgery and re-learned to equate time and space with the new end of the finger.  Sure I can't grasp and hold things as securely or with as much strength with that hand as I did before the accident, but that's just life, things change and you adapt.  I like that it is a constant reminder of how quickly life can change, and how life gives you what you need, not what you want.

High Four and a Half!



3. The results of my genetic test results last month.

This one is a no brainer.  And I've talked about it previously, but it certainly is something I am grateful for, given how easily the results could have been the opposite.  Facing a 50/50 chance of having the mutated gene sequence that has been shown to cause ALS in a cohort of familial ALS (with or without accompanying Dementia and/or Parkinson's) I had no reservations about getting tested and knowing what may lie ahead for me and for my family.  I wanted to know.  So I got tested.

50/50.  Flip a coin.  Heads you win, Tails you will at some point in your future become afflicted with a combination of symptoms that will alter your life and will directly lead to your demise.  Not a pretty picture.  No cure, no known treatments yet, no understanding of how or when or in what order you'll begin to notice the changes...

But I got lucky.  If you believe in luck.   Or it was never my fate to discover that path on my journey, if you ascribe to the fate idea.  However you see it, I didn't get that genetic quirk that is in my family, and I did not pass it along to Riley.  Grateful? You bet.  But cautiously so, because I know that is it very likely that not all my siblings will have the same outcome.  This one is a mixed bag, but in my personal list of things to be grateful for, it most certainly is there.