Much ado about Nothing

Do you hear that?

Right. Neither do I!

That's the sound of a very quiet early Sunday morning of a long-weekend, and I have nothing to do. Nothing planned, nothing pressing, and most importantly, nothing work-related rumbling around my stressed brain fighting for priority, needing sorting out, sucking all my energy and creativity in the process.

It's a bit disconcerting actually.

I'm not used to nothingness like this.

I know it's what I long for and want so badly during those times of peak focus and frazzled commitments, but finally realizing nothingness is so foreign that I feel ill-prepared to deal with it.

I know that's the point; to not deal with it, to just let it ride and be in the moment, i get that! But understanding the process and adapting to it are two totally different things.

The past few weeks have been extremely stressful - work has been a series of scheduling and rescheduling trades to accomodate delays and unforseen site conditions, working the phones with supervisors and site personnel and owners and designers and inspectors while watching a schedule disappear before my eyes and mediating between all parties to resolve the conflicts and bring the job in as quickly as possible, as effectively as possible. The homefront wasn't so dramatic, though after a couple weeks of having the family away, it took some time to readjust to the additional demands of my time and attention which work had already maxed out.

Something had to give.

And unfortunately, like is usually the case in times like these, its the ones closest to you that take the brunt of the fallout. Not on purpose of course, but we tend to give strangers more room and understanding when we're stressed, than the people who are always there for us, the ones who tirelessly support us and put up with our annoying habits and personality quirks that make us who we are - even when we aren't being distant and sullen and quiet. Throw in feelings of being overwhelmed and pulled to your limits, and yeah, it doesn't always make for a relaxing, peaceful existence.

But if you're fortunate, and have someone who will call you on your behavior when you've gone into your shell, or whatever it is you do when you retreat from everything and everyone around you while you flail at your world; someone who is willing to tell it to you like it is, who is willing to be patient and understanding and be there for you - but not sugarcoat things - if you have someone like that beside you, you'll be able to discuss those things that are troubling you and together find a way through them, guiding each other as need be, until you find your footing once more.

And then, with your clarity and focus restored, you'll be able to handle life's stresses the way you were meant to, and suddenly you'll find yourself on a quiet, long-weekend Sunday morning, sitting in the shade of the gazebo, coffee in hand, thinking about your world with nothing to do.

Except remember and be grateful for the people around you who are always there for you, even when you feel isolated and alone. The ones who care so deeply and perfectly and effortlessly that make it possible for you to feel like there's nothing you can't do.