Here we Go Again

I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions.  I have nothing against them personally - I am sure they are very nice, and polite and well meaning ideas that exist peacefully in their world and all that - and I am certain some of them have helped people achieve lasting change when applied correctly and revisited repeatedly.  My issue with them is they only get looked at or thought about once a year, and like most people, if you only do something once a year, it won't become a lasting, positive change.

Not that I am all about change - though looking back I can see a thread of consciousness that winds through a good deal of these posts that ties together the idea of change as a means of measuring growth, something I would agree I am about.  I'm not sure if it was a conscious desire or if I suddenly found myself on this path, a mix of the two is more likely, given that I am finding I end up where I needed to for many reasons once I can look back with clarity from where I came.  Change is inevitable and the sooner we accept that, the sooner we can embrace what change can mean to us in terms of growth, for while change is inevitable, growth is a choice, and we know how bad we can be when faced with choices.  The more choices we have before us from which to choose, the more we lose the ability to make insightful decisions about those choices. Usually.

And that is one of my peeves with the New Year's type resolution, that there is an inherent time pressure at work with them given that we feel we should have one or two in place and ready to share with the world when the calendar turns, but the Holidays and all their busy-ness leaves most with less than adequate amounts of time to fully contemplate the state of things around them - can't begin to change things if you don't really know what it is that requires changing.

And why only at the start of the year? You are really stacking the deck against yourself by only playing the narrow band of time allotted in that first week of the year, throwing out some half-thought out, minorly serious intention for change in some area of your life, because it has to be 'out there' for New Year's - to be shared and professed to those who ask, compared and dissected as to it's worthiness of your pursuit.  A new year, a new you! etc.  Better to spend time in the quiet recesses of your mind throughout the year examining things that are serving you and those that are not and asking tough questions about them; whether you need to reconsider the agreements you've made with yourself about the things you've claimed as defining you...

Yes, I know my jadedness is showing through and I promised you I'd work on that... let's agree that I have issues with change for change's sake and move on.

I have a love of things historical that was part of me before I started - I don't know why that is, but I am drawn to things that have been passed down through time and are still around today to be examined and considered.  There is a constant-ness about them that balances my acceptance of change and growth, and I need the two to co-exist in order for me to feel centered.  I am embracing the reality that I am a creator of things, ideas, experiences etc, using the world around me to further develop it into something new - my own a definition of growth I guess you could say.  And I am learning that part of my time here is about sharing those experiences, ideas, things and observing the reactions that are set off because of them, in spite of them, and including them.

It is within those constants that I find stability, a sureness that conditions going forward will be fine for what they are, a calming sense of certainty that everything will be as it needs to be, and within that I will also be, as I need to be.  But I am not stuck there in those constants, clinging hard to them and holding them hostage demanding they not become something other than what they were previously - facts can and do change with further study; insights create new knowledge. The object of study may be more or less permanent but that does not require the understanding about it to be static.

Human existence should be viewed along similar lines if we are to maximize our ability for contribution to one another.  Who we are is who we are, but where we go is up to us.  Decide to change your or understanding about yourself and you can alter your course.  Look at things about yourself in new ways, from different perspectives and you might be surprised at what you uncover.  You are not a constant defined by your past history unless you allow yourself to be.

And so we turn the calendar and begin again, retracing steps through time but in a new location.  We can go about this journey blindly doing what we always have, content in the safety of the familiar, or we can choose to forge a new path, examining the best course step by step as we proceed, changing directions as needed but always moving, always learning, observing our surroundings for clues to help us succeed.

Last year was a quiet year for us in terms of experiencing the world in new locations, with little travel upon which to draw inspiration.  This coming year is already shaping into an exciting and potentially rewarding series of adventures and my appetite for the new and as yet (at least by me) undiscovered.  The boy's hockey team is headed to a tournament in Phoenix in February, and we've extended that trip by a few days to allow us the time and space to get up to visit and explore the Grand Canyon - if only for a single day - as well as the surrounding areas of Flagstaff and Sedona and Williams - a small slice of the Arizona whole, but an opportunity to experience new vistas and create new connections.

The upcoming summer will see us off to southern California to play tourists on the Golden Coast for just over a week, certainly not long enough to revolutionize our worlds, but welcome nonetheless for what it holds in store.  Some time spent in the hustle of Hollywood followed by the not surprising destination of Disneyland - I never said we were out to discover the arts and cultural goldmine of the state - won't allow us to scratch the surface of the superficial facade of the city but we'll be content to experience what it offers and be entertained as it intends.

By year's end we will have made our way back to our Happy Place in Florida - a welcome respite and a nurturing of our souls in more manufactured distraction.  We are aware of the simplicity of the distinction and unashamed by its contradiction to the ideals of growth and greater understanding of the world around us.  I make no apologies.  Some times you need to go where you can just exist; where you feel at home and comfortable and can enjoy the smallest details.  We've found one place like that and will embrace it for as long as it feeds us.

For between and surrounding those journeys this year we will be here creating our reality, facing challenges and life experiences that will shape us and force us to adapt in order to survive.  We will endure the mundane and the trivial, finding sparks of inspiration along the way, pushing ourselves in new directions when we can, and enjoying the small victories when they arise.  And we will change and grow through it all, becoming who we are and who we were meant to be.  I hope to be able to share many of these things with you as we go, magnifying my experiences through sharing, leading to greater understanding and appreciation for what we have and where have been.  And really isn't that the greatest resolution any of us can make?